I wouldn't say these cookies are terrible, but...

It is Sunday. I love Sunday evenings because it is the time I get my Son back from his mother. She takes him on the weekends and although I do enjoy that break I miss him terribly. Sunday evenings are great because after a long weekend of not having him our time seems just a little more special. Tonight I picked him up and before we went home we made a stop at the grocery store. This is a normal routine for us on Sunday's because I usually take him with to help pick out stuff for lunch and dinner for the week ahead. He likes it because he knows on Sunday evenings he will get a balloon from the store as well.

Tonight we decided to bake some cookies after dinner. Not from scratch. I don't know how to do that. Apparently I don't know how to bake them in the easiest pre-made form as well. These were just toll house cookie cubes you broke, put on a sheet and baked. Both attempts resulted in burned cookies on the bottom and soft goo on top. I followed the directions perfectly too! Oh well, Miles has put down about 5 cookies so far and hasn't complained. He rarely complains anyways. He is pretty much the most happy go lucky baby I have ever seen. I'm not just saying that either, he really is.

The weekends tend to get lonely for me so I really try to keep myself busy. This weekend I managed to get some Christmas shopping done. I found some really great things for Miles and I'm really excited for him to open them. I also went to The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug with a couple friends today. The movie was OK, but time out with buddies was great. I have also been spending time with an old friend on a more than friends basis. This has been a difficult challenge for me for a few reasons. The biggest reason I'm finding it a challenge is that there is this idea in my head that it's too soon. Or that it is disrespectful to my ex-wife. I guess I can't call her my ex-wife yet because we are not officially divorced. It's been 2 months and for that reason it seems too soon? Or is it? I feel OK with it when I'm with her. I mean, I feel happy when I'm with her and that should count right? I don't know...

The truth is, when I don't have my Son I'm a complete disaster. I mean, it's winter in Montana right now. So just going for a walk or a hike is not an option. I can only go to Starbucks so many times too. And I spend so much time at the shop during the week that going there on the weekends just to be there seems silly too. Bar scene is not an option for me. I just don't feel comfortable in or around them. So I guess I resort to playing guitar in my apartment. Which is fun for a bit but then it too becomes boring. So I have been spending a lot of time with her. Which I like. We do things like cook dinner, watch movies, play games. We talk. It's great. I was open with my ex about this and she was angry and upset. She told me it was embarrassing to her. I guess I feel like, she is the one that wanted this. And without going into too many details, was her choice to end it. Since ending it, has made it more than clear that it was final and no going back. So in my mind, if you are that absolute about something. How can you say what the other person is to do or not do in their personal life anymore? So starting about Wednesday or Thursday last week I made the decision she doesn't get to. Since being ok with that in my head, the time I spent with this 'friend' was fantastic.

OK, it's time to snuggle with my little man and eat what burned cookies are left. Until next time!

Allow me to introduce myself.

I have been staring at this blank page trying to figure out exactly how this blog should be started. The obvious first step is introducing myself and then I can explain the purpose of this blog to the readers that may find it. My name is Lindsey and I'm a 32 year old father who has recently separated from my wife. I am a small business owner just trying to make ends meet. I have a beautiful 3 year old boy and currently he is my world. As I have gone through this separation with my wife, he has been my only focus. Work has been taking a back seat as I grieve and allow this separation to happen. I write another blog that is letters to my Son. I can post links to that at the bottom of this post.

My goal with this blog is to be as open and honest as I can. I like the idea that I can spill my guts out to perfect strangers. I'm hoping it will be a way to get things off of my chest. Perhaps if people are reading they can engage with feedback or their own thoughts. Ideally, I would love to meet other men going through similar situations and how they are coping. Perhaps pool resources and motivate each other to live smarter and better. I know that I have got to the situation I am through mistakes that I have made and my goal is to learn from those mistakes, but more importantly, learn to avoid them again in the future.

I'm not sure how this blog will evolve, but I'm certainly excited to get it started. So excited, in fact, I will end the into for now and start writing the first post.

I welcome you to the blog and please don't be afraid to leave a comment or introduce yourself.

Thanks.

Lindsey

the link to my other blog can be seen at http://dearbeautifulbaby.tumblr.com